This is a list of the most famous, notable, penises of all time. Fact and fiction, big and small, intact and severed.
#10 Dirk Diggler
In the movie Boogie Nights, Mark Wahlberg plays a character named Dirk Diggler. He is a drop-out with a 13″ penis that is recruited into the porn industry. He has great success and ‘his package’ is referred to during the entire movie. It is only in the last scene that you finally get a peak. Mark Wahlberg used a prosthetic penis for the scene.
#9 Minister in The Little Mermaid
In The Little Mermaid ‘s first wedding scene (the one in which Ursula, having taken the appearance of Vanessa and the voice of Ariel, attempts to marry Prince Eric), as the bride and groom are approaching the minister, the side-profile shots of the minister allegedly reveal him to be sporting an erection.
#8 John Holmes
John Holmes or Johnny Wadd (after the lead character in a series of related films), was one of the most famous male adult film stars of all time, appearing in about 2,500 adult movies in the 1970s and 1980s. He was best known for his exceptionally large penis, which was heavily promoted as being the longest in the porn industry. Although claims have been made that his was actually between 10 – 14 inches, his ex-wives both stated he measured 10 inches.
#7 Jonah Falcon
Jonah Falcon is an American actor and also known as the person with the world’s largest penis. His member is reported to be 13.5″. Jonah says directors are afraid to cast him because “he’s known for his penis size” and his career has been harmed as a result. He has agreed to donate his penis to the Icelandic Philological Museum after his death.
#6 Lenny Kravitz
It’s safe to say Lenny Kravitz definitely does not wear underwear. The rocker flashed his entire penis after his leather pants ripped during a concert in Stockholm. He was getting into his jam “Fly Away” when he squatted down and the threads of his pants literally couldn’t contain him and he exposed his junk. Kravitz exited the stage, and according to a concertgoer, a producer explained they had “problems onstage” before Kravitz — clad in different pants — returned to tell the crowd: “Sorry, I ripped my trousers.”
#5 Bart Simpson
Most people are familiar with the carton character Bart Simpson from the legendary cartoon series The Simpsons. He generated quite a bit of buzz when The Simpsons Movie came out in cinemas with a general suitable-for-all rating. So imagine the audience’s surprise when during one scene, where Bart accepts a dare to skate naked down the street, there is a short but clear glimpse of the youngster’s small, but decidedly yellow, penis.
#4 Adolf Hitler
Medical records obtained after Hitler was arrested in 1923 reveal that Hitler suffered from “a rare condition called penile hypospadias in which the urethra opens on the underside of the penis.” Not only did hypospadias leave the Führer with a micropenis, but it also caused him to urinate from a hole on the shaft of his penis as opposed to the tip. Records also showed Hitler had suffered from “right-side cryptorchidism,” or an undescended testicle.
Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin was a Russian mystic and self-proclaimed holy man who befriended the family of Nicholas II, the last emperor of Russia, and gained considerable influence in late imperial Russia. Rasputin indulged in legendary debauchery, was rumored to be pretty stellar in bed. After he was allegedly poisoned, beaten, shot, and drowned on December 30th, 1916, Rasputin’s infamous instrument of love would linger on. This 12-inch pickled phallus on display at the Museum of Erotica in St. Petersburg, Russia is, according to its owner Dr. Igor Knyazkin, the true mythical member of Rasputin.
#2 Statue of David
David is a renaissance sculpture created by artist Michelangelo round 1501. The statue is of the biblical figure David. People have observed that David seems to have a small penis but in those days a smaller penis was considered more desirable than large ones. A point of controversy is that the penis is not circumcised. Circumcision was different in the time of David and is actually correctly noted in the statue with just the tip of the foreskin removed. It wouldn’t become a more common practice to completely remove the skin until roman times.
#1 John Wayne Bobbit
John Wayne Bobbitt and Lorena Bobbitt made Mr. Bobbit’s penis the most famous one on the planet in 1993 during an incident in which Lorena severed John’s member with a kitchen knife. John arrived home intoxicated and, according to testimony by Lorena, raped his wife. Afterward, Lorena went to the kitchen for a drink of water and saw a knife on the counter. She grabbed the knife and entered the bedroom where John was asleep; and she proceeded to cut off almost half of his penis. After assaulting her husband, Lorena left the apartment, with the severed body part. After driving a short while, she rolled down the car window and threw it out into a field. Realizing the severity of the incident, she stopped and called 911. The body part was located, packed in ice, and brought to the hospital where it was re-attached by doctors during a nine and a half hour surgery.